Jigme Datse Yli-Rasku — 2020 December 22 — Not Doing Development

I was just thinking about something that happened while I was talking with a friend. This person is someone I actually consider to be a friend and honestly I find that this is somewhat unusual (but not really unheard of) from them.

We were talking about doing development and that a lot of what they are doing doesn't really make a lot of sense to me, and that we actually might be able to understand it somewhat if we could sit down and struggle it out, but really didn't feel a whole lot like doing that.

This wasn't really that unusual up to this point, and of course I might have some of my details wrong on this, and am muddling multiple conversations. What they are doing very much baffles us, much of the time.

They are currently working on a major project which I think is taking code from one langauge, and converting it to another language, and then once the conversion is working correctly, would be able to convert projects from one to the other.

I don't really understand why, unless there might be some specific reason they are doing this, but the topic of how to handle errors and I mentioned that I'd like to better (or more properly) handle errors in my code.

They asked me what kind of code I was using and I mentioned PHP, and their response was that must be difficult.

The thing is, I use PHP because it's what I'm most familiar with, and the only language I have any kind of formal training to use (but really rather limited, and that's not strictly true, it's just the only one that I've continued to use which I have formal training with).

Somehow we got talking about doing stuff with C, and they responded with:

please never do C :p

Twice...

I got really pissed off with this, and honestly I feel rightly so.

Why?

Because this is the kind of thing I often see tech bros do. It feels very much like this is a response which is of the "don't even bother trying to do anything with X because you're just too stupid, and there's no way I'm going to actually bother to try to explain anything to you."

And a big part of why this person's response of this sort was particularlly galling is because they are prone to being dismissed by a variety of communities.

Mind you...

I think for them, it's kind of a "no big deal" thing. Like they don't really have much of an emotional attachment to it, and their response is more that, "this is the right kind of response to this kind of thing," rather than actually it being a response to the fact that it's genuinely upsetting to them.

The thing is, this is exactly why I have been reluctant to contribute even QA (Quality Assurance) type work to other projects. Either I spend time explaining things, and nothing gets done. Or something gets done, and I don't really get any sense that it was "meaningful" to them the work I did.

Some of the stuff that I've found for a number of different things has been serious security concerns, and this friend was saying that the reason they were so totally dismissive of me is that by even doing anything I would:

introduce security vulnerabilities

And that I am:

reluctant to listen

But when I have talked with people claiming to be security experts, and found that they have no real idea what they are talking about, or at least can't convince me of such, and they will tell me similar things, I kind of wonder why I would even bother to consider that anything I might want to create which isn't directly of value to me, just would be something to contribute to.

Yes, I've done a decent amount of coding and developing to create this site, and I don't think what I've done is terribly good, but the main reason I have done that, is because it is a genuine benefit to me.

I want to be able to build a site without having to either use code which I don't understand why it is so heavy in using resources (ie. why they couldn't have made it more efficient) or having to do everything entirely by hand from the ground up.

The code I have created is basically an automation of my process which allows me to write in a manner that is close to writing just regular text documents I might be creating for any manner of things.

Another thing that I've found, is that I've never really managed to see anyone ever be interested in what I'm doing unless I have pointed it out directly to them, and then the level of interest is usually...

"Hey that's really neat" but without any sense that they actually are interested in doing anything with it, or even paying much attention to what I'm doing with it.

Occasionally I have had some stuff like photographs or even writing that I have seen that other people have used. Sometimes they have asked to use it, and I've been happy to say, "sure you can, just use it with the license I'm using considered, or talk to me further if that's not going to work for you," but probably more often just going ahead and using it without really paying attention to any of that.

Yeah, I kind of get pissed off that someone might take my picture of matcha, call it alfalfa, and not even bother to credit me, but apparently they thought it served their purpose well enough that they used it.

I cleaned up the code for a theme framework for WordPress, and added some features to it. I'm not aware of anyone else who cleaned up the code and released it publically, and I'm not aware of anyone even taking a serious look at my project (even though it should have shown up looking at the abandoned project as a fork).

I have had a few different projects that I've contributed to (mostly QA stuff) where I have felt that the project was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

One project, I'm not that interested in further contributing to, because it has largely been abandoned, and most of what it did I have found other projects which do a much better job.

If that was more usable (like I had managed to make it work for me) I would have been quite happy to work with it. But I have since moved to using PeerTube, Pixelfed, and Funkwhale for what it would have done for me.

PeerTube works very well, and I can get it installed when I want to without too much trouble.

Pixelfed, I really like but I've not tried to install my own instance of it yet. Partially because I'm not sure that it's really as federated as I would like.

Similarly for Funkwhale.

But I've had a number of what would end up being big projects that I have ended up abandoning. This is a very much toned down version of what I had hoped would be a replacement for WordPress for me. Not this website but the tools I'm using for it.

I really wanted to build a tool that I could use similarly to WordPress which was more focused on being low resource. The low resource issue is very well addressed with this.

But I don't really feel that the issue with being some tool that I hope would be useful to other people is at all addressed by this.

I don't think this likely is that useful to other people, as what I have done here, probably anyone who is going down this path, would do as I have and just create a very similar set of tools themself.

But, if someone wants to look at it? Contribute to it? I'm up to that.

Which is why the tools are being published on GitLab.

I exited high school fully expecting that I would be happy doing something either with science, mathematics, or computers. Possibly combining that in some form.

Here I am, doing something I enjoy more, which is just writing, maybe taking some photos, maybe making some art work, maybe making some music.

But this that I'm creating here, is for me. It's to help me process the world around me.

And maybe? Someone will see something which speaks to them. I've found that does happen with my art... My creative persuits which show as "creative" rather than stuff which would show as "technical" or similar.

Anyway, I feel that even though I've said a lot here... It's really only the start of dealing with some of what I've said here.

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